EVERYTHING I EVER NEEDED TO KNOW IN LIFE, I LEARNED AS A
HELICOPTER CREWMAN IN VIETNAM.
Copyright (c), 1997, Bobby L. McBride, All Rights Reserved
Shown here with written permission.
Once you are in the fight it is way too late to wonder if
this is a good idea.
Helicopters are cool!
It is a fact that helicopter tail rotors are instinctively
drawn toward trees, stumps, rocks, etc. While it may be
possible to ward off this natural event some of the time, it
cannot, despite the best efforts of the crew, always be
prevented. It’s just what they do.
NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition than the other
guy.
The engine RPM and the rotor RPM must BOTH be kept in the
GREEN. Failure to heed this commandment can affect the morale
of the crew.
A billfold in your hip pocket can numb your leg and be a real
pain in the ass.
Cover your Buddy, so he can be around to cover for you.
Letters from home are not always great.
The madness of war can extract a heavy toll. Please have exact
change.
Share everything. Yes, even the Pound Cake.
Decisions made by someone over your head will seldom be in
your best interest.
The terms "Protective Armor" and "Helicopter" are mutually
exclusive.
The further away you are from your friends, the less likely it
is that they can help you when you really need them most.
Sometimes, being good and lucky still was not enough.
There is always payback.
Chicken Plates are not something you order in a restaurant.
If everything is as clear as a bell and everything is going
exactly as planned, you’re about to be surprised.
The BSR (Bang Stare Red) Theory states that the louder the
sudden bang in the helicopter is, the quicker your eyes will
be drawn to the gauges. The longer you stare at the gauges the
less time it takes them to move from green to red.
It does too get cold in Vietnam.
No matter what you do, the bullet with your name on it will
get you. So too can the ones addressed "To Whom It May
Concern".
Gravity: It may not be fair, but it is the law.
If the rear echelon troops are really happy, the front line
troops probably do not have what they need.
If you are wearing body armor they will probably miss that
part.
It hurts less to die with a uniform on, than to die in a
hospital bed.
Happiness is a belt fed weapon.
If something is not broken on your helicopter, it’s about to.
Eat when you can. Sleep when you can. Shit when you can. The
next opportunity may not come around for a long time. If ever.
“Combat Pay” is a flawed concept.
Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end
of the day beats the alternative.
Air superiority is NOT a luxury.
If you are allergic to lead it is best to avoid a war zone.
It is a bad thing to run out of airspeed, altitude and ideas
all at the same time.
While the rest of the crew may be in the same predicament,
it’s usually the pilot's job to be the first to arrive at the
scene of the crash.
When you shoot your gun, clean it the first chance you get.
Loud, sudden noises in a helicopter WILL get your undivided
attention.
Hot garrison chow is better than hot C-rations, which, in
turn, are better than cold C-rations, which are better than no
food at all. All of these, however, are preferable to cold
rice balls even if they do have the little pieces of fish in
them.
NEVER FORGET!
WHAT is often more important than WHY.
Boxes of cookies from home must be shared.
Girlfriends are fair game. Wives are not.
Everybody’s a hero ... on the ground ... in the club ... after
the fourth drink.
There is no such thing as a small firefight.
A free fire zone has nothing to do with economics.
The further you fly into the mountains, the louder the strange
engine noises become.
Medals are OK, but having your body and all your friends in
one piece at the end of the day is better.
Being shot hurts.
"Pucker Factor" is the formal name of the equation that states
the more hairy the situation is; the more of the seat cushion
will be sucked up your butt. It can be expressed in its
mathematical formula of S (suction) + H (height above ground)
+ I (interest in staying alive) + T (number of tracers coming
your way). Thus the term "SHIT!" is often used to denote a
situation where a high Pucker Factor is being encountered.
Thousands of Vietnam Veterans earned medals for bravery every
day. A few were even awarded.
If you find yourself in a FAIR fight . . . your tactics suck!
Running out of pedal, fore or aft cyclic or collective are all
bad ideas. Any combination of these can be deadly.
Nomex is NOT fire proof.
There is only one rule in war: When you win, you get to make
up the rules.
Living and dying can both hurt a lot.
Do not wear underwear. It can cause crotch rot or be used as
evidence against you.
While a Super Bomb could be considered one of the four
essential building blocks of life, powdered eggs cannot.
C-4 can make a dull day fun.
Of course you can drink out of a human skull! Duct tape over
the eye sockets will keep it from leaking.
Cocoa Powder is neither.
There is no such thing as a fair fight -- only ones where you
win or lose.
If you win the battle you are entitled to the spoils. If you
lose you don’t care.
Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to
do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing -- NOW --
to solve our problem.
If you have extra -- share quickly.
It’s OK to take stuff off the body of a buddy, because you
know he would have wanted you to have it anyway.
Always make sure someone has a P-38.
A sucking chest wound may be God’s way of telling you it’s
time to go home.
Prayer may not help . . . but it can’t hurt.
Flying is better than walking. Walking is better than running.
Running is better than crawling. All of these, however, are
better than extraction by a Med-Evac even if it is,
technically, a form of flying.
If everyone does not come home none of the rest of us can ever
fully come home either.
Do not fear the enemy, for your enemy can only take your life.
It is far better that you fear the media, for they will steal
your HONOR.
The grunt is the true reason for the existence of the
helicopter. Every helicopter flying in Vietnam had one real
purpose:
To help the grunt. It is unfortunate that many helicopters
never had the opportunity to fulfill their one true mission in
life, simply because someone forgot this fact.
"You have the right to remain silent." is always EXCELLENT
advice.
If you have not been there and done that . . . you will
probably not understand most of these.
Many thanks to my fellow Vietnam Helicopter Flight Crewmember
brothers who helped compile this list:
J.C. Pennington; Lee Westbrook; Bob Blum; Ron Timberlake;
Darryl James.
Bobby McBride, Crew Chief, 128th Assault Helicopter Company,
Phu Loi, RVN 3/69 -- 3/70,
Copyright (c), 1997, Bobby L. McBride, All Rights Reserved
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