AIRBORNE RANGER

(Possibly the most famous cadence of all)
Two old ladies were lyin in bed.
One turned over to the other and said.
I wanna be an Airborne Ranger!
Live that life of blood and danger.
Airborne Ranger.
Blood and danger.

AIRBORNE RANGER

Airborne Ranger where have you been?
Airborne Ranger where have you been?
Around the world and back again!
Airborne Ranger how did you go?
A C-130 flying low!
Airborne Ranger what did you do?
I killed some commies for me and you!
Airborne Ranger how'd you get back?
A black and gold body sack!

AN AIRBORNE MAN

I used to be an Airborne man,
They dropped me from a plane in Vietnam.
Lock and load your M16,
Grab your gear and follow me!
Take the safety off your gun,
Lets go have some combat fun.
Find some enemies, roamin'' around,
Take your aim and mow 'em down.
Find some N.V.A.. and capture them all,
Line them up against the wall.
Cock your Colt and line up a shot,
Squeeze the trigger and kill the lot.

C-130

Note: Text in Italics denotes an alternate line.
C-130 Rolling down the strip.
Airborne daddy momma/ranger on a one-way trip.
Mission unspoken, destination unknown.
They don't even know if they'll ever come home.
Stand up hook up, shuffle to the door.
Jump right out and count to four.
If my main don't open wide.
I've got a reserve my by side.
If that one don't open too.
Look out ground, I'm a comin through I'll hit the ground before you do!
Pin my medals upon my chest,
and bury me in the front leaning rest.
When I get to heaven.
St. Peter's gonna say.
How'd you earn your livin?
How'd you earn your pay?
And I will reply with a little bit of anger:
Earned my pay as an Airborne soldier Ranger.
 

This paragraph can be added or used as a different version.
C-130 rollin down the strip,
  Airborne daddy gonna take a little trip.
Stand up, buckle up, shuffle to the door,
  Jump right out and count to four.
If my chute don't open wide,
  I'll be splattered on the countryside.
If my chute don't open wide,
  I got another one by my side.
If that chute don't open neither,
  I'll say hi to ol' St. Peter.
If I die on the combat zone,
  Pack me up and ship me home.
Bury me in the front leanin' rest,
  Tell my folks I did my best.

Still a different version
If my main don't open wide,
I got a reserve by my side.
If that one don't open either,
I got a date with ol St. Peter.
When I hit that landin zone.
Box me up and ship me home.
Tell my girlfriend not to cry.
I was born to jump and die.
Bury me with speakers all around my head.
So I can rock with the Grateful Dead.
Bury me with speakers all around my toes.
So I can rock with Axl Rose.

Still another version:
C-130 going down the strip
blew a tire and the mutha fucka flipped
Well the C-130 ain't flying at all today
Air Force pilot went awol
Mission top secret destination unknown
so his sorry ass just stayed at home

The Colonel had a mission that he had to complete
So he reached for the phone down at his feet
He thought about it just a sec
Then he said " Aw what the Heck"
dialed 1-800-LEATHER NECK

AIRBORNE RANGER (Getting tired of Ranger stuff yet?)

I was walking down the street one day
When I met a perfect stranger
Who said that he was on his way
To become a Ranger
Chorus:
“Airborne Ranger” ..drawn out from high to low
The Rangers are a moving
There moving through the night
The Rangers are a looking
There looking for a fight
Charlie is a moving
moving through the night
Charlie Charlie
He thinks that he can fight
But up from behind him
A Ranger standing tall
A Slits Charlie's throat
And watches that Charlie fall
Chorus
Deep in the battlefield, covered in blood,
lies and Airborne Ranger, dying in the mud.
He fought for his country, and died like a man.
Tho' some people back home just wouldn't understand.
(chorus)
Back at home a young wife waits,
unaware that her Ranger has finally met his fate.
Her little boy's cryin' as she tucks him into bed,
Although no one's told him, he knows his daddys dead.
(chorus)

Saw an old lady walkin down the street.
She had a ruck on her back and jump boots on her feet.
I said hey old lady where you goin' to?
She said US Army Ranger school.
I said hey old lady now ain't ya been told,
Ranger school's for the brave and the bold.
She said hey young man, I'll do just fine.
I maxed my test and I'm ninety-nine!

This paragraph can be added or used as a different version.

Two old ladies were layin' in bed,
  one rolled over to the other and said,
"I wanna be an Airborne Ranger,
  I wanna live a life of danger."
"I wanna go to Viet Nam,
  just to kill ol' Charlie Cong!"
 
This paragraph can be added or used as a different version.

When I get to heaven
Saint Peter's gonna say
How'd you earn your livin boy?
how'd you earn your pay?
And I'd reply
with a whole lotta danger.
Earned my livin as an Airborne Ranger
Blood, guts, sex, and danger,
That's the life of an Airborne Ranger.

When I get to Hell,
The devil's gonna say
How'd you earn your livin boy?
How'd you earn your pay?
And I'd reply as I clenched my knife
get outta my way before I take your life.
Blood, guts, sex, and danger,
That's the life of an Airborne Ranger.

This paragraph can be added or used as a different version.

If I die in a combat zone,
Box me up and ship me home.
Build my coffin 4 feet wide,
Ground me to the inspection side.
Pin my medals upon my chest,
Tell my daddy I did my best.
Bury my body six feet down,
'Till u hear it hit the ground.

When it hits hard you'll hear me sing,
I wanted to be a training instructor,
I wanted to shave off all my hair.
I wanted to be a training instructor,
I wanted to wear my smokey bear.

AIRBORNE (spelled)

A  -  IS FOR AIRBORNE
I   - IS FOR IN THE SKY
R  - IS FOR ROUGH TOUGH
B  - IS FOR BORN TO JUMP
O  - IS FOR ON THE GO
R  - IS FOR RANGER
N  - IS FOR NEVER QUIT
E  - IS FOR EVERY DAY

WHEN I GET TO HEAVEN
 
When I get to heaven,
Saint Peter's gonna say,
How'd you earn your money?
How'd you earn your way?
How'd you get to heaven?
How'd you get your wings?
With a little bit of anger,
This is what I'll say.
Earned my way as an
Airborne Ranger.
Livin' a life of Guts and Danger,
Blood, Sweat, Guts, and Danger.
That's the way, of an
Airborne Ranger.

More AIRBORNE RANGER

Airborne Ranger was a hell of a man!
Walked through the bar with his cock in his hand!
Shit on the table and pissed on the floor.
Then wiped his ass with a "44."
Lined a hundred women up against the wall.
Bet a hundred bucks he could fuck them all.
Fucked 98 till his cock turned blue.
Up-chucked, jammed up, fucked the other two.
When he died he went to hell.
Fucked the devil's wife and his daughter as well.
On his tombstone it was carved in green:
Here lies a human FUCKING MACHINE