THE LIGHTHORSE AIR CAVALRYMAN
AS SEEN BY:
Headquarters: An elitist prick. A drunken, brawling, woman corrupting, hard flying ass kicker with faded jungle fatigues, illegal mustache, a yellow neckerchief, a sword and a brown cowboy hat. "His high number of KBA’s helps us overlook the little indiscretions".
His Commander: A fine specimen of an elite, drunken, brawling, woman corrupting, hard flying butt kicker in a barely serviceable uniform, with a slightly marginal mustache, a nifty looking yellow Cav scarf, a dress saber, and a tan Cavaly hat. "All of those KBA’s are dandy and are direct reflections on me and enhances my career. I may make Major General"!
Himself: A stout hearted, handsome, highly trained professional killing machine. Suave and debonair (swavy & deboner), a true male God to all females, he wears jungle fatigues that were tailored downtown while he was "entertaining" at "Ci Ci’s Steam & Cream". He earned his grubby yellow scarf by drinking from D Troop’s special "cup" and can still smell some of the contents which stuck in his long droopy mustache. The saber is razor sharp and ready for that rare chance of a "Saber Kill". He wears the Silver-belly Tan Stetson that he paid 30 hard earned bucks for and waited three months for the mail to deliver. He’s proud to be in a unit like this even if they won’t let him get KBA’s at Christmas time.
His wife/girlfriend/rented companionship during R&R: A skinny, gross, crude, foul-mouthed bum with a hard-on who showed up drunk and with the clap. "He started peeling the uniform off at the airport, all but the nasty yellow rag around his neck and that mangy looking gray cowboy hat. What we won’t do for money or a trip to Hawaii. What the hell is a KBA?"
Department of the Army: An overpaid, over
sexed, over-rated tax burden who is indispensable but expendable. He will
volunteer to go anywhere as long as he can drink, brawl, corrupt women,
fly and fight. He sings dirty party songs in the presence of VIPs, wears
un-military looking uniforms, grows unauthorized facial hair, wears unauthorized
neck accouterments, carries unauthorized edged weapons at inappropriate
times and flaunts his unauthorized head gear. Hell, he doesn’t even wear
the right color of unauthorized head gear. But… He gets results and KBA’s
make good press.